It’s seduction community sacrilege to EVER compliment an attractive girl, especially on her looks. But…like most advice in the pickup community, this one, too, is total bullocks. Women absolutely LOVE compliments, especially about their looks, IF they’re genuine and coming from the right place. Most men think of compliments in the same way that they think of drinks or dinners, which is this thing that they give to a woman so that she’ll give something back (a lil’ sumthin’-sumthin’, to be exact). Guys figure that if they flatter a girl with compliments, that she’ll like and appreciate them for it but women have a remarkable sixth sense for reading between the lines and sussing out the intention behind a communication.
A man who gives out compliments to GET something will tell a girl that she’s beautiful and wait expectantly.
What is he waiting for? For her panties to spontaneously disintegrate? The woman will ‘thank’ the guy for his ‘compliment’ with a no-eyes-thanks-now-get-lost smile and then move on. Honesty is the greatest aphrodisiac and DIShonesty, or in this case, disingenuousness (just another form of dishonesty), is the greatest turn off. If a woman feels like she can’t trust you, or trust you anymore, all is lost… back me up on this one girls? Not only that, but a woman will resent a guy doubly for trying to abuse the reciprocity norm in which we feel socially obliged to give a similar value to those who have given us some kind of initial value.
So why even bother complimenting a woman if you don’t get anything in return and she just blows you off? And why don’t naturals get this reaction? It comes down to one thing: compliments have nothing to do with the woman per se.
The natural sees a gorgeous girl all dressed up, wearing his favorite color of dress (red), with matching lipstick (love it!) and heels (HOT!) And because he’s a MAN and loves women (and isn’t afraid to show it!), he’s inspired to express himself. Beauty needs a witness. Women have forgotten that they’re beautiful and men are so busy protecting their glass egos with false non-chalance and aloofness, that we MISS these life-giving moments of inspiration, in which an authentic poetry is freshly formed and poised on the tips of our tongues. Men have ceased to allow themselves the vulnerability (the strength) to fall in love at first sight and say exactly what we feel in the moment that we feel it. We have been force-fed (and we’ve accepted it) the pornographic conception of women as little more than pretty sex objects and we are taught to actively suppress the music, the joy and delight in female beauty that makes our cup to overflow. And yes, women can tell all of this about a guy instantly.
The way a natural compliments a woman remind her that she is a) beautiful and b) a woman! She senses that he is genuine (because this is the kind of guy who says what he feels and doesn’t say what he doesn’t feel), that he is NOT looking to take but wants to GIVE and SHARE with her. He is not looking to GET something from her because he is already complete without her! It’s true…she’s cute…and he’ll invite her along on an adventure and really wants her to come, but if she can’t go, or if she doesn’t want to go, he understands but he never rescinds his invitation.
Compliments are a man’s acknowledgment and gratitude for God’s brilliance. It reminds us why we’re here (to witness and create beauty) and reminds women that they are the fountain from which our (men’s) inspirations flow. Give yourself the gift of noticing and appreciating beauty everywhere you go and authentically expressing your wonder and delight in it. You say you love women. Does every woman who comes into your life – young and old, attractive and unattractive – FEEL this delight…?